So if I can't do all those things that made me feel a little bit wild, what can I do? I can redefine rock & roll, that's what. If you'd like to join me, try some of these:
And while we're at it...up yours Confused.com! I just insured my car with you and I DON'T WANT BRIAN!
2. VolunteerHey you, yeah you West Berks council. You know how you've cut the buses, and the library funding, and money for the arts? Well guess what. I'm going to give my neighbour a lift into town so they can get some books out. And do you know what I'm going to do after that? I'm going to book a local band to play at my village hall so people can get an injection of art and pretend that they're 15 again and drink too much and and maybe vomit when they get home. And we'll raise money for charity while we're doing it. And the next morning we're going to clean up after ourselves and put the empties in the recycling - alright!
3. Be a WombleOi! Teenager at the park smoking weed - of course I bloody know what it is you're smoking! You carry on dropping your tins of Monster and making a mess, because do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to pick that shit right up and put it in the bin so you don't win at making the park some kind of hovel. You are not bucking the system, you are simply making a big smelly mess.
4. Talk to a StrangerOk - pick your stranger carefully but might I recommend the elderly woman that you see every day and say "hello" to in passing? She'll probably tell you a joke that's a bit rude and put a few things in perspective for you. I spoke to Daphne. She was awesome and made me thankful that there are people out there that look out for my nan.
5. Get fit
To all the people who seem to be making it their business to f*ck up the NHS - I will make it my business to stay well away and save space for the people that really need it. I am going to put on lycra and not give a damn if it gives me camel toe because I am (hopefully) avoiding a heart attack.
6. Get out and perform
Are you *still* pissed off with your drama teacher because she didn't give you a part in Godspell thirty years ago? (carrying a grudge - moi?) well do something about it! There are groups and gigs and venues and spaces that would welcome you with open arms whether you want to sing a solo, dance the fandango or tell your favourite joke. Just type "open mic" into your favourite search engine and see what comes up. Then get out there and do it. LET'S ROCK!